True Belonging
By Noor Khalil
One of the most profound aspects of our writing class has been the opportunity to explore and articulate personal experiences that shape our identities and perspectives. Through our weekly essays, we have delved into the heart of who we are and how the world around us impacts our sense of self. This journey has been particularly meaningful for me as a Muslim Palestinian living in America. The process of writing has not only been a form of expression but also a means of understanding and coping with the complex realities of my life. October 7th, 2023, marked a significant turning point in my life and perspective as a Muslim Palestinian in America. This essay explores the discrimination I faced and the broader implications of belonging and identity in a society that often feels divided.
October 7th 2023, my life and perspective had come to a complete change. As a Muslim Palestinian who was born and raised in America, I've always considered myself a part of American society and culture. Both my parents are immigrants from Palestine who had come to America to seek better opportunities or should I say.... to seek life. Living in a country where you look different, sound different, and dress differently has always been something my mom has been insecure about. Her insecurities were rooted from a sense of fear. Fear that someone would rip her hijab off or subject her to violent discrimination. Since I was born and raised here, as a true American, I was always ready for someone to say something to my mom so I could be that voice for her that she didn’t have. Sure, I have always been aware of issues like discrimination and inequality, but I still felt a sense of belonging and acceptance in the American community. However, after October 7th, everything changed.
As the propaganda spread, people who have never heard or researched about the Palestinian ethnic cleansing only saw one side of the story. The fake side. The side with false claims that had no evidence or back up to them. As a visibly Muslim woman, I found myself in great fear from some of my fellow Americans. In the weeks following the attacks, I experienced discrimination in various forms. From suspicious glances to outright hostility, I felt like an outsider in my own country. It was a painful awakening to the reality of systemic prejudice that had always lurked beneath the surface but was now brought into stark relief.
In this state of disillusionment, I began to question my sense of belonging in America. Did I truly belong in a society that could so easily turn against me based on my ethnicity or religion? Was this the America I had believed in, where diversity was celebrated and everyone had an equal chance at acceptance and opportunity? However, I came to a profound realization. The feeling of not belonging wasn't just about the discrimination I faced as an individual; it was about acknowledging the deeper truth of America's history. This land was not originally ours to claim. It was stolen from Indigenous peoples through centuries of colonization, displacement, and violence. In that moment, I recognized that none of us truly belong in America in the way we may have thought. We are all settlers on stolen land. The only truly indigenous people of this land are the Native Americans, who have endured centuries of oppression.
This realization didn't erase the discrimination I faced or the challenges of belonging in America as a person of color. But it did provide me with a broader perspective on the concept of belonging and the shared responsibility we have to acknowledge and address the injustices of the past and present. Waking from the social matrix of belonging meant confronting uncomfortable truths and reevaluating my place in society. True belonging can only be achieved when we acknowledge and honor the land and its original inhabitants.