How I Left the Hotel California

By Michael Granado / Summer 2022

“You can check out any time you like but you may never leave.” This subtle, yet powerful line is from the Eagles’ “Hotel California”, a song which I hold very dear to my heart. In essence, the song describes a person who arrives at the mysterious Hotel California – a luxurious hotel which is accompanied with greetings, yet also elicits the alarming message that those who arrive are stuck there forever. I never really fully understood the meaning behind this song, or the power this specific lyric held, until very recently. The song is actually talking about me, and is a figurative reflection of my current life. This mysterious Hotel California, which may never be left, is the same hotel in which I currently reside. A hotel that holds many expectations, most of which all turn out to be falsehoods. However, no matter how hard I try, I simply cannot leave. The materialistic promises are too great, and the luxury of success is superficially just within reach. No matter how hard I try to leave, I remain stuck within a soulless realm for all eternity.

I hope that this mysterious realm I describe has drawn your attention, and if so, I imagine there are many questions racing through your mind. To satisfy your questions, allow me to take you through an eye-opening revelation I recently experienced. You see, the other week I began to notice unusual things. I wrapped up my seemingly normal day, which consisted of dreadfully working nearly 20 hours straight on my computer in the UCSD Computer Science and Engineering Building basement. Some call it the “dungeon,” but I much prefer to call it my home because I practically live there. In fact, I take pride in being the last to leave the building and wear it as a badge of honor. Who needs food, sleep, and exercise when you can work tirelessly to complete projects and homework assignments. Whether it is 10, 20, or even 30 hours, I will endure. I will stay to work and keep my claim on my domain.

As I began to head out the doors I noticed a bulletin board that I had not recognized before. I thought it was odd because I should know all the objects in my “house.” Perhaps I had been so busy the past few weeks with summer school that I simply missed this display. The board displayed a message of the likes of: “What are you doing this summer! Take a post-it note and write it down here!” I read over the post-it notes, and a few described traveling to places such as Paris to see the Eiffel Tower. Others talked about visiting friends and family. However, the majority of the notes were clear and displayed a universal thought: “I forgot it was summer, I am busy taking CS classes.” This silly little post-it board hit me very hard. My head began to race with reflections: What happened to my summer? What happened to my joy and my soul? Why do we have to endure such suffering?

Now, I would be lying if I say that these types of thoughts hadn’t plagued my mind before. Ever since arriving at UCSD, I have asked myself why I am doing this. I have asked myself why I spend so many hours tirelessly working away, endlessly chasing that 4.0 GPA. I have given up so much: my health, my friends, my passions. However, deep down I know the answer to my very own question is that I simply want to be successful. This is my realm of eternity. This is the realm in which I currently live, forever disconnected with my soul and slowly extinguishing the fire which illuminated so bright within me as a child. I simply want to live out the American Dream. I can’t check out of my endless suffering, because that would mean that I am giving up my hope of winning the race to success, happiness, and all the American ideals constantly advertised. I cannot leave this hotel. It is as if some powerful addiction has taken hold of me and I can only wave in and out of my hypnotic state – wondering what else is out there – but eventually always coming back to my suffering after being reminded of the promises of success. However, this time my thoughts were different. This silly little post-it board made a big impact on my heart, big enough that a fire grew. Perhaps, it was due to the childhood identity being reignited through my memories of previous summers. However, one thing was for certain. The subjugating social matrix which ruled over me had suddenly disappeared and I was here. I was awake and this time I knew the answer.

For us to initially check into this deceitful hotel, there must have been some shining, fruitful promise to have brought us there in the first place. Personally, I loved all aspects from computers, from the outer casing all the way down to the electrons which power the circuitry. I enjoyed spending hours and hours all night with my friends, working to develop the next “hot” game. There was an exchanging of ideas and a creativity of some sort that was reminiscent of our childhoods. It felt as if we were destined to become computer scientists. Only, I wish it were just this simple. You see, there is also a subconscious feeling intertwined with this major. This feeling is the valuable promise of security that every living thing craves. Currently, computer science bachelor’s degree holders in their mid-twenties contain the second highest median wages (Malas). There is a sense of pride embedded in the human desire to seek out high-paying degrees. The sense of security to know that you can accrue the crippling college dept, yet still pay it off in a few years. Family members, friends, and colleagues will give you that sense of respect. They will give you the nod and say that you chose the “right” major. The allure does not stop there. The sense of prestige and security is present within those same universities that you work at in order to receive the greatly desired computer science degree.

At the academic level, the computer science field is also secure. In 2016, more than a quarter of U.S. states promised to reward various public universities if they could convince their liberal arts majors into switching into technical fields (Pifer). We can see that praise and acknowledgement is not only given at the individual level, but embedded in society as a whole. This acknowledgement that those pursuing STEM fields are the royalty of the academic world is a new status quo, put in place by the state and federal governments funding the universities. These are not isolated incidents either. We see additional examples in Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin and Flortida Senator Marco Rubio, who bluntly state that they simply do not want students studying subjects such as French literature or philosophy, but would rather only support those pursuing technical skill sets such as electrical engineering (The Editors). This is the first step of drawing the individual to their Hotel California, just as Satan drew Adam and Eve to bite into the forbidden fruit. The promise of money, jobs, and respect is hard to resist – especially to those who are inexperienced and within the first few adult years of their lives.

After being reeled in with these luxurious promises, the promised life turns out to not be what it has been portrayed to be. Those within the computer science realm, and STEM fields as a whole, are extremely overburdened. In fact, this burden has been significantly heightened starting from the pandemic era. Students in STEM fields are now consistently reporting about significantly heightened workloads, driven by the fact that they must not only complete synchronous class activities but also watch pre-recorded lectures (Gross). It is a new era, one where learning workloads are significantly increasing. With these heightened workloads, comes additional consequences. Mental health begins to suffer, and stress begins to rise. We begin to become drivers of this new Gilded Age. As described by Howard Zinn in his “Robber Barons and Rebels”, the glorious economic transformation in the mid-1800s would not be possible without “ a huge supply of human beings to do the back-breaking, unhealthful, and dangerous work.” In order to continue to push this age of technology to new heights, STEM workers must be pushed to their limits so that the masters of our society have the most efficient machines to do their bidding. The fact of the matter is that this glorious life depicted when coming into college is not what it seems. The feelings of respect and prestige which someone hopes to gain turn into relief from making it to the next week. This begs another question. What makes us stay in these fields?

It's pretty clear now what our purpose in this rat race is. We are inhumanely being trained to be efficient workers for the elitist machine. Yet, there is also something quite fascinating about this whole circumstance. We are many in number and thus, when combined together, we are very powerful. Therefore, there must be some measures to keep us in check. Think about animals in a circus. The lion does what it is told, no matter how unnatural the functionality is. Why is this the case? In fact, why do all the circus animals perform their acts? These circus animals are much more powerful than their masters, and indeed they could chaotically rise up together to overthrow the circus in an effort to relinquish themselves from their chains of captivity. The answer is actually rather complex, with multiple methods playing a role, the first and most important of which is fear. One common example of fear is the fear of being left behind, and this is the type of fear that is riddled throughout the computer science field. Colleges are struggling to fit enough space for all their computer science majors, and therefore resort to making the introductory programming classes as hard as possible to filter out students without prior coding experience (Griffin). The funneling of an increasing number of computer science students brings about a new toxic and competitive environment. This new environment spawns a new era plagued with competitive individualism, where failures are considered weak. Yet, the worst part of it all is that those who are not privileged enough to have prior experience in the computer science field are destined for failure. If you are present within a prestigious R1 university like UCSD, there is a heightened tension that you must succeed or else be crucified. Those who come as computer science majors are seen to have the free ticket to lifelong satisfaction. They are seen as the leaders in this “rat race”, and have the ticket to a secure job. No one wants to be left behind, and that's why this competitive individualism is present. It is a gladiatorial fight for who will get that popular tech job which will make them rich, and this battle is fought on an uneven playing field. We become servants to the elite, giving up our lives and humanity all to make those in power more money. However, this is the key to keeping us within this toxic environment. Noam Chosmky describes this beautifully in “Requim for the American Dream.” He describes how the easiest way to control attitudes is to make things that are seemingly obtainable and within reach to be the essence of life (Chomsky). This is the current culture we face. We throw in aspiring computer scientists to compete with each other, all under the ploy that success and happiness is only four years away and in the form of a bachelor’s degree.

The other reason we are kept tame is due to the fact that we become increasingly uneducated about ourselves. School curriculums begin to focus more on technical classes, and less on the arts and humanities. By losing our ability to take arts classes, we lose the ability to critically think for ourselves. Studying the arts and humanities encourages people to consider and reflect on the complex moral issues constantly present within life (Strauss). This important denial of education, allows the elite to further brainwash us. By restricting our reflective moral thinking, we are unable to truly look at the hotel which traps us, and thus we can never escape. It is just as Howard Zinn says when he describes how the working class “...whose lives are filled with cause for rebellion, be taught that all is right as it is.” The most effective way to keep people subjugated is to never let them know their worth. This is the dilemma we as students, especially within STEM fields, currently face.

This leaves us with the final questions: Why us? Why were we chosen to be exploited? Well, the answer is both surprising and simple. Those in power seek to do what those in power have sought to do for the past few centuries. They seek to achieve the maximum efficiency from workers for the lowest price. Tech education writer Audrey Watters points out how propaganda from tech giants make claims that there are over five hundred thousand unfilled programming positions in the country, yet tech workers are also not seeing any substantial growth in aggregate wages (Tan). This is the new Gilded Age. We are promised a life of freedom and security, instead only to receive a life in a prison of misery, forever bounding our soul to our masters. These limitless jobs we are promised do simply not exist when we graduate, and we face the fear of falling through the cracks after believing these falsehoods. It does not stop here, we are furthermore threatened with eradication of wages. Tech fields will no longer be the high-paying jobs that we know them to be today and technological business executives are already secretly employing many strategies to cut wages. In “The Tech Education Con”, JT Tan provides clear examples of these strategies:

Tech companies collude via anti-poaching schemes to keep wages down. They use non-compete disclosures to push wages down by forbidding workers to get jobs from competitors. They also take advantage of the H-1B visa, hiring immigrant workers for cheaper than their American counterparts.

We are just pawns in the game of the elite. We will lose this sense of security we were promised – the high wages and limitless jobs which were advertised. The goal of the societal elite is to overwork us early within college and generate the thought that we are lesser individuals, so that we may continue to believe that we are lesser as we graduate. Thus, the workforce will begin to be flooded with computer scientists who believe that they should work hard for little to no rewards, thus maximizing both profits and productivity for technological giants.

I sat in my self-pity the other day, wondering how I was going to break out of this matrix –  how I was going to leave this Hotel California. I was angry, throwing my emotions to the aesthetically beautiful school surrounding me, which in my eyes was a prison. As I was walking around the courtyard, a butterfly flew right across the tip of my nose. I began to follow this butterfly, like Peter Pan followed Tinkerbell. I ended up in the pine forest behind Geisel Library and that’s where I saw it, the secret that was around us. The secret that I had lost when I first arrived. The secret was the beauty surrounding me. If you can’t leave the Hotel California, then don’t. All you have to do is “checkout anytime you like,” just like the lyrics state. Life is all about balance. After all, when you walk to the UCSD Computer Science and Engineering Building you encounter an engraving on the sidewalk demonstrating the Warren College motto: “Toward a life in balance.” Remember, you have the ability to checkout. You have the ability to enjoy the beauty around you, to take breaks, and to visit your loved ones.

For those with systematic minds like myself who are seeking specific guidance, my direct solution is to practice aimlessness. Thich Nhat Hanh writes in “The Doors of Liberation” that aimlessness means “...you don’t put anything in front of you as the object of your pursuit.” For me, this means that I must bring back my childhood, which brought me to the realm of computer science in the first place. I want to build computers and make video games with my friends. I don’t want to work endlessly completing assignments that I don’t care about all in the pursuit of success and money. I want to complete college on my own terms, no matter who judges me.

Furthermore, I challenge you to add some extra liberal arts classes to your college plan. The fundamental concepts and reflective thinking brought by these classes will provide you with the necessary tools to break out of this mechanistic nature brought on by the elite who design our computer science curriculum. Additionally, as an added bonus, these humanities courses provide additional benefits to the computer science field. By widening and deepening our pool of knowledge through the liberal arts, we can introduce new ideas into the STEM world which allow us to truly be innovators (Jackson-Hayes). It is important that we do not forget what has driven the forefront of technology for decades. We must develop new ways of thinking and learn new ideas if we truly want to create the newest video game, or hottest mobile app. We cannot limit ourselves solely to step-by-step procedures, and that is why the arts and humanities are crucial.

There is something more to be done as well. If you dislike a place, and cannot leave, then why not simply try and change that place? The fact of the matter is that it starts in university. If we are taught that we are machines that are meant to do whatever our masters tell us, then that is what we will become after we graduate. We must form collectives, fighting to preserve each other's humanity and rights. Educate your peers, and bring attention to this depressing and oppressive nature we are constrained by. There is an increasing idea forming in the tech industry that I believe should be the basis for all individuals who intend to join the tech field. It is the idea of worker-owned tech collectives. What makes these collectives exciting is how they are structured. In “The Argument For Worker-Owned Tech Collectives”, Brian Van Slyke describes them as “... democratic businesses owned and operated equally by a specific membership. Some co-ops have memberships composed of only workers, some of consumers, some of producers. Each owner only has one share and one vote in the organization.” These are the models we should be following. We should be working together, not against each other. Most importantly, we should have equal power because we all share the same humanity. Just as the empowering Martin Luther King Jr. states in his Letter From Birmingham Jail, we should work so “..t​​he deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear drenched communities.'' We are not machines to be exploited so that we may efficiently work endless hours to make those at the top a few extra dollars. Our goals should be to collaborate with others, and to treat each other as human beings. We must cherish one another, and nurture each other's health.

There is a comical irony to the major of computer science, at least in UCSD. By definition, we assume that the role of a computer scientist is one who programs the machine. Well, I believe that this definition is false. We are the machines, and we are the ones being programmed all because there is money to be made – and machines make the most money. Personally, I cannot think of a better environment to produce these efficient money-making mechanistic programmers. UCSD has a lottery system to get into the Computer Science Department, and makes the computer science classes extremely difficult and time consuming. To top it all off, there is this looming, condescending stigma that those who fail are simply not worthy, and are instead labeled as lazy. It is an academic gladiator pit, where those who survive are drained of their humanity. The ultimate scheme. The ultimate dogma. Yet, where there is oppression there is hope. Time and time again, the political pendulum swings back toward the favor of the common good. As students, we can start this transition. Even an action as simple as asking how your fellow student is doing can make a difference. We can support each other when we are stressed, and protest when we are overworked. Actions as simple as practicing aimlessness to witness the beauty that surrounds us, or taking liberal arts classes so that we may reflect upon our creative selves can make a ripple in the hidden laws which bind our souls. Let us shatter the status quo that says we are just machines meant to work for our masters. We will be the ones to leave the Hotel California.

Works Cited

Chomsky, Noam. “Requiem for the American Dream.” Tubi, 1 Jan. 2016.

Eagles. “Hotel California.” Hotel California. Asylum Records, 1976.

Editors, The. “STEM Education Is Vital--but Not at the Expense of the Humanities.” Scientific American, Scientific American, 1 Oct. 2016.

Griffin, Alison. “Too Many Aspiring Software Engineers Can't Even Get into Class. Industry Partnerships Can Change That.” Forbes, Forbes Magazine, 4 Sept. 2020.

Gross, Hannah. “STEM Students Report Being Slammed by Hours of Added Virtual Class Content.” The Daily Pennsylvanian, 22 Sept. 2020.

Hartigan, Matt. “The Argument for Worker-Owned Tech Collectives.” Fast Company, Fast Company, 20 Nov. 2013.

Jackson-Hayes, Loretta. “We Don't Need More STEM Majors. We Need More STEM Majors with Liberal Arts Training.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 6 Oct. 2021.

King, Martin Luther, Jr. Letter from the Birmingham Jail. Harper San Francisco, 1994.

Malas, Meghan. “These Are the Highest Paying College Majors of 2022.” Fortune, Fortune, 26. Apr. 2022.

Pifer, Emily. How STEM Is Shaping Modern Society, 7 Feb. 2018.

Strauss, Valerie. “Analysis | Why We Still Need to Study the Humanities in a STEM World.” The Washington Post, WP Company, 30 Nov. 2021.

Tan, JS. “The Tech Education Con.” Jacobin, 13 Jan. 2019.

Thich Nhat Hanh. “The Doors of Liberation.” Lion’s Roar.

Zinn, Howard “Chapter 11: Robber Barons and Rebels.” A People’s History of the United States. Harper Collins, 2003. pp. 253-296.