Her Story Opened My Eyes

By Calvin Harris / Fall 2020

The American Dream, such a universally known statement and a desire many have, yet few people actually obtain it. What is it they are actually looking for? What dream was I supposed to search for? As a kid who was born and raised in San Diego, in the small town of Ramona, unfortunately I had a fairly narrow view of what this statement meant and who it was meant for. The thing about Ramona is that it is a country town and the people there seemed to be and think a lot alike. They like their guns, their religion, and especially their American flag. It didn’t seem like there is anything wrong with that at first. I knew that that Flag meant freedom, liberty, and justice for all, however I came to realize that not everyone was included in the all-inclusive statement of “all,” and that’s what was wrong with it. The town I grew up in was slightly racist and partially skewed my views of the world when I was younger. Thankfully, my parents made sure that I didn’t go down that path. The stigmatism of people who weren’t white American was apparent all around me and it had to be escaped, though I knew in my heart it was wrong. To me, the American dream was that of a typical young boy, to grow up and be successful, working hard to obtain my goals, and get married to a beautiful woman and have a family together. I knew it was possible for me, but was it possible for everyone else too?

As a kid, I didn’t think about that question much. I grew up with a loving family who was and is always there for me. Financially we were well enough off to live comfortably, it wasn’t a life of luxury, but a stable middle-class family. School came easy to me and I was always the try hard in my classes. It was meant as an insult by the other children, however I took it as a compliment. I was taught that hard work pays off and if it is worth doing, I had better do it to the best of my abilities. I was thankful to have these opportunities all through grade school, middle school, and high school. I played sports throughout my childhood both for my school and for the club I had the opportunity to join. This started to widen my view of other people and other cultures as I interacted with the other players from all over the world. However, I was living my American dream, but admittedly I did not think about what other people in the world were going though. I’m 23 now and I still have never been out of the United States, not even to Mexico, though it is only 45 minutes away. I have only visited seven states including California. Needless to say, I had a narrow view of the world. The American Dream I had been living only pertained to me and it didn’t occur to me to think of what others had in mind when they thought of the American Dream.

As I grew older, this narrow view I had of the world and what the American Dream meant for everyone began to change. My family was always religious and taught me to treat others the way I wanted them to treat me. So, I did, and I got along with all groups of people, but I never felt like I fit in anywhere and I didn’t have a true group of friends. Looking back now, this was actually a blessing to me because I was able to widen my view and experience all different types of people from cultures around the world. I was able to get along with the nerdy kids who loved school and I was able to fit in with the jocks who loved to talk about sports and work out. My version of the American Dream everyone else was living became more than just about me. The eye-opening experience though happened to me in community college, a little over two years ago. I met this girl in my organic chemistry class who happening to be the person I was competing against for the top grade in the class and I’ll admit I thought she was gorgeous. Naturally, I smoothly ask her for her number so that we could study together, which was true, but I also wanted to get to know this smart and beautiful girl. Little did I know, she would change my life forever and open my eyes to a greater truth about the world.

Unlike me, she was not born here and for her childhood, she did not grow up here. She was an immigrant who was stigmatized for her country of birth (Iraq) and her religion (Islam). After studying for some time with her and falling for each other, I ask her out on a date and then for her to be my girlfriend, and one day hopefully my wife. She had a wholistic view of the world, where I had only a fraction of the picture. She has taught me about who the typical American Dream was meant for and what it meant for someone who immigrated here looking for safety and a better life.

We are a nation of immigrants, but all too often people associate the American Dream with the European white immigrants who were the first to immigrate here as free people. What my girlfriend has taught me helped me to break free from that closed-minded view and expand it to a national and global view. Her American Dream happens to not be much different than mine, as we are on the same medical path and believe that if we work hard, we can reach our goals with the opportunities that American has allowed us to have.

She has helped me see is that everyone has a different view of the American Dream and that it’s not easy for everyone else to do the same. God made everyone different for a reason and He has put different trials in everyone’s life so that they may overcome them and it is not up to us to judge them for what they are going though, yet we should do our best to help build other people up, no matter where they come from. I may be able to work hard and achieve my goals, but the person I pass on the street who is homeless is not always because they are lazy and don’t want to work. There are different stories that people have. When I was younger, I didn’t think about those stories, only the condition of people when I saw them now. I couldn’t be more thankful for her. She opened my eyes and helped me look at the world in a new light. Where she is from, there is war and poverty, dangers that we don’t have to worry about as much here in the safety of the United States. That alone is part of the American Dream that everyone should realize. People are not coming here to take our jobs away, or to live off government aid. They have come here to have the opportunity of a better life, yet when they get here, they are met with opposition from closed minded people who push them to the side and cause them to stay in the lower class. Then they contradict themselves when they say if they work actually work, they wouldn’t be living in poverty. Or, for example, if the Black community would stop “thugging” and they wouldn’t be getting shot. The reality of it is though, that people are not given the equal mental opportunity to be brought out of a life a hardship, given that a lot of people are against them doing so, disallowing them to achieve their American Dream.

For me, the American Dream is to become a doctor and help the individuals who are worse off, and work towards giving them the opportunity to live healthier lives. I am proud to be American because of that freedom, but that is met with the contradiction of wishing everyone had the mental and physical freedom I do.