Change Yourself to Fit

By Anonymous / Winter 2023

Working at my current company has been both challenging and rewarding. This company has given me many opportunities to move up and also rewarded me for my hard work. But they also reinforce some very negative images regarding body image and how women should look. According to their mission statement, they aim to help young women express themselves stylistically through vintage chic vintage inspired clothing. While this is semi true, they also reinforce the notion of one size fits all. However, their one size policy truly fits only a small to extra small. This reinforces the notion that young women and girls should fit a size small and makes the brand exclusionary to other people outside of this size range. Moreover, as an employee of the company I am expected to also fit into these standards and embrace the company culture. However, I was unaware of how these practices actually affected young women because of  the  way I was brought up.

After working at my store for a few weeks, I had a visceral experience on how our sizing policy truly affects the mental health of young women. One day, a young girl (maybe 13/14) and her father walked into the store for some back to school shopping. I remember approaching them and asking if they needed any assistance or help to make their shopping experience more enjoyable. The father gladly accepted my help and the daughter looked uncomfortable. As I led them through the store and showed them some of our popular merchandise I overheard his daughter say things like “I won't fit into that”, “that wont fit,” and “I don't belong here”. It broke my heart to hear these things from such a young girl and see the anxiety she had towards shopping in our store. I tried to reassure her and say that the items had a good stretch to them and that some things in the store don't even fit me sometimes. But she brushed that off and became increasingly self conscious. I watched her body tense up at the mention of a dressing room, crossing her arms over her body to shield herself, and the look of worry on her face. As I led her to the fitting room area she began to get really erratic. I assured her I would be outside of the fitting room with her father the whole time. As I sat outside, her father told me about her self confidence issues and that if the clothes don't fit right she could always stand to lose some weight. As I digested these words, I remember thinking… “Why would anyone say that about their daughter? Wouldn't you assume she is perfect just the way she is? Wouldn't you call the company out for their outrageous sizing policy?” There was nothing wrong with his daughter. She was a normal weight and height, it was the clothes that were the problem. And then, I heard a sniffle and then crying. His daughter had completely broken down in the fitting room and was having a panic attack. I remember seeing her tear stricken face and her saying that nothing fit. She sobbed into her fathers chest saying she was “too fat”. That's when it hit me, this company was absolutely destroying young womens self images.

Instead of thinking that the sizing was the problem, young girls believed it was themselves. That they needed to change themselves in order to fit in. This is such a huge trend in society. The notion that thinness equates being healthy and if you don't fit into this stereotype then you need to change. While I acknowledge that being healthy is important, it doesn't necessarily mean you have to be skinny. There are different healthy weights for each person and therefore not fitting into a size small doesn't make you any less healthy. That little girl thought she was “too fat” or unhealthy to fit into our clothing. But she wasn't the issue at all; the company was. And the expectations that our company and society reinforce in women is what causes these self image issues to occur at such a young age. The notion of equating thinness with beauty is incredibly prevalent in advertising, health publications, and other social aspects. Young women digest this idea at a very young age and as they grow up have this ingrained in them. This causes mental health issues relating to self image and body dysmorphia and at its more extreme, eating disorders. All of this self hatred is harbored in women due to these incredibly high standards for beauty.

I couldn’t do much to help her but I tried to use words of affirmation. I wanted to reinforce the idea that there was nothing wrong with her and that she was perfectly fine. Despite my words not being revolutionary, I wanted her to know that she was not the only one who’s ever experienced these emotions. That the store reinforces these negative images inside of her and that she has nothing to be ashamed of. I cannot express how saddened I was that day. She, like many other girls, has experienced these same emotions and feels isolated when entering establishments like mine. I don't ever want someone to feel that way again especially regarding their body.