Outro
By Kaelyn Brown
This journey that we have explored together went so much deeper than the words you read on this paper. I analyzed and explored the imbalances in this world, from the gilded age, through Dr. Martin Luther King’s life. While we dissected these imbalances around us, something became so apparent– there is something that controls us– controls our society. “It” is not a person, or even a group of people for that matter… It is something much greater. It is what created this rat race, it has turned humans against one another in order to separate us, it is made up of greed, inequality, and violence, and it feeds directly off of our energy– it sucks the life out of us. This “it” that I became horrifically aware of is the monster behind the scenes. This ‘monster’ is not one person, or even a group of a few people, but it is our system that controls us. During my exploration and analysis of this monster, I have come to realize that it feeds off not only our energy, but hate. It is cyclical, as it feeds on violence and hatred, then spits it right back out into the world. Interestingly enough, through my analysis of this worldly imbalance, I have begun to feel my purpose.
Over the past ten weeks, I have been shown the rat race that consumes human life and turns them into batteries and I have become aware of the inequality between us that is woven so tightly into our daily lives. Being revealed such imbalance, I have found my balance– my purpose. I don’t feel that my purpose is a career path or a school path, I feel that my purpose is in the way that I live, in the way that I treat others, and in the way that I try to make this imbalance more balanced. I have already begun striving for more balance while in my writing course, as I have awakened to my own social matrix, as well as the social matrix we all experience everyday. My purpose is to help others awaken to the imbalances in this world. My purpose is to connect with others as much as I can, in the most genuine way I can. My purpose is to stay a student my entire life– not in the way where I sit at a desk and receive a grade that reflects me as a person, but in the aspect where I learn in any way that I can throughout my whole life. My purpose is to embrace my femininity, not in an imbalanced way, but in a way where I embrace the balance between masculine and feminine, as one is not greater than the other– it is like yin and yang, mountains and rivers, they flow together. My purpose is to speak my truth and stand for what I believe in, but always in a peaceful way, just as Dr. King did. Most importantly, I have found my purpose in healing others. I was stagnant before this quarter at UCSD, I truly did not feel that any career path aligned with me, nothing felt true. As I have tapped into my own voice, I have remembered how much I love helping others, which manifests in wanting others to be full of health. I finally found something that spoke to me and something that felt true to me.
In August of 2024, I will be attending National University of Natural Medicine for the Classical Chinese Medicine/Acupuncture program. This type of healing is something so real and genuine to me, as it is the only medicine that has helped my health issues and it treats the body as a whole, it strives to find the root weaknesses. If someone would have told me that I would be striving towards that path a year ago, I would have thought they were crazy. My perspective on how I am living my life has transformed within these past ten weeks. I have opened my eyes to the rat race that we’re all pressured to be a part of, I have analyzed what lies behind this rat race, I have learned how to write using my voice, which has in hand influenced feeling my purpose. Coming towards the end of this journey with you, but the beginning of this journey with myself, I would like to share the most significant aspect I was left with… That love is such a real purpose. I know, that may sound so corny. I have always believed that love is the answer to all evil, I just never deeply thought about it. During my writing class, we spent time analyzing Dr. Martin Luther King Jr’s impact on this world. One quote stuck with me… “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” This quote really resonated with me because it really encompasses the power that love holds. I firmly believe that love is a real purpose because it bleeds into every aspect of our lives… Healing, connection, platonic and romantic relationships, family, animals, nature, learning, etc. This idea is so meaningful to me because in a way, it gives society a way to come together and stand up towards the “monster” or the social matrix we’re living in. We, humanity, are so much stronger if we use love, peacefulness, and togetherness to stand our ground and stand for what we believe in. These past ten weeks have been truly monumental for me, as I have unlocked new doors and gained new knowledge– Knowledge that isn’t usually taught in our day to day college courses.
These aspects that we discussed in class are not just history stories, they have still managed to bleed into our present day lives, as we see the unbelievable wealth gap, the patriarchal systems, the racism and inequality, and wars continuously happening in our world. These are issues that should be discussed in all of our classes at UCSD. My perspectives have gone through such a metamorphosis in ten weeks, as I have gained insight into important history, how to write using my own voice, not regurgitating someone else’s ideas, and most importantly, I’ve begun to feel my truth and my strong purpose. Thank you for exploring my eye-opening journey with me.