The Monster
By Miranda Li
I remember my kindergarten days when each day after school was a simple delight. My mom and dad would take turns picking me up after school every day. The journey home was always joyful and warm, the anticipation of delicious food and the joyous greetings from my family waiting for me at home made it special. My mom would smile and ask about the fun things I did that day, asking whether I was happy. After dinner, dad and I had our moments of play. My favorite moments were when he held my hand and swung me back and forth, and when I used a toy stethoscope to "examine" him, he always came up with new "symptoms" every day. On weekends, my parents would take me to the amusement park, where we'd go on slides, or we'd play soccer. My family always had different entertainment activities every weekend. The atmosphere at home was always peaceful, our home always filled with love, with my parents joking with each other and making me laugh.
As time passed, things changed. As I grew older, the warmth and joy in our home slowly diminished. Especially when I entered university, my mom started blaming me for not improving my grades, and leading to occasional loud arguments. Despite our best intentions, the immense pressure made it hard to keep our words in check. My dad, a quiet person, began closing himself off in his room, working silently to escape the noise we created. My communication with him also decreased, and the nightly "goodnight, sweetheart" became rare. My mom was constantly anxious, worrying about whether I could maintain a high GPA and if I would be able to find a high-paying job. At the same time, she was also troubled by her own work-related issues and the care of my grandmother, who has been sick in bed for years. Consequently, she became more and more impatient, not only with me but also with my dad. Their views diverged, with my dad hoping I could live each day happily without the need for a high-paying job. However, my mom believed that in today's society, this approach wouldn't work, emphasizing the importance of education and the increasingly competitive job market. Initially, they argued incessantly, but over time, they both grew tired of the endless conflicts. My dad chose to compromise, gradually withdrawing from my academic life, and communication between them dwindled. The warmth that once filled our home slowly faded, leaving behind a chill.
Meanwhile, I kept blaming myself, thinking that if I had double-checked my exams, I could have found mistakes and earned more points. If I had done better in exams, things might be different.I felt inferior, lacking the intelligence, good memory, and comprehension abilities of others. I wished every day to proudly tell my parents about my high scores and bring some joy home, allowing them to relax, but that only happened a few times, and the happiness only lasted for no more than 2 hours. At times, I wondered why they chose to bring me into this world, knowing the pressure it would bring. There were moments when I didn't want to exist, hoping to exchange my parents' former happiness for my absence, yet anticipating the greater pain they would feel losing their child. This internal struggle and pressure have been haunting me.
But after looking deep into all those materials shared in this class, and all those pressures my classmates and I had in common, I realized that these issues are not solely mine or my parents', and these struggles were not unique to my family. It is the society that prioritizes money over happiness and everything else, even over our lives. This society encourages individual competition, disregarding marginalized groups. Those burdened by medical debts find themselves homeless, and the elderly unable to care for themselves are abandoned on the margins. Students engage in meaningless rat race in various exams, and working individuals compete relentlessly, driven by debts and housing expenses.
This society has turned into a monster, setting traps for intensified competition and higher productivity, indifferent to human lives. It views us as insignificant, like ants, and those who care for and nurture us are not given the respect as well. The hardworking healthcare professionals in hospitals earn less than a CEO talking on the phone for ten minutes. The parents sacrificing to care for their children are taken for granted. This monster has taken away our freedom and happiness, spreading shadows into our mind; subjecting us to immense pressure, destroying connections between us; and turning each of us into emotionless production machines. We should definitely do something.