What Happens to People Like Me who are Deemed Abnormal?

By Anonymous / Winter 2021    

I do not know how long I stood starring at the deep end. Hours, minutes, seconds; it is a blur. All I remember was the weights felt heavy around my ankles, and the words I heard myself repeating, "Do it. You deserve to die." So, I jumped in. This attempt was not my first or my last, but it is the one that has come back to haunt my memories most often. At the age of 13, I only associated myself with words such as "worthless, stupid, and invaluable." I have been on every medication you can name and have been told I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, a biological condition. If you were to look at my past, from childhood to my twenties, you would see what a person society deems an "outcast" or a "weirdo." I have always been told I was "different," and I then began to feel the pressure to mold myself into that perfect, idealized member of society; but why and how does this relate to my illness? Deeply embedded in America is the idea that competitiveness and consumerism drive our nation; we are focused entirely on ourselves and our self-interest alone, no one else.

This belief comes from neoliberalism. Neoliberalism is deeply embedded in our society and lands on the conservative side of our political system. This ideology prioritizes private interests, cutting taxes, and limiting our social safety net. Neoliberalism values individualism and tells its citizens they are in it alone; no one will look after you but yourself. In a culture that values perfection, there is a competitive drive to be the best. A problem that arises with this ideology is that many people cannot live up to the "American Dream" of wealth, prestige, and a comfortable, happy life. Our mentality as Americans says you can do and have it all if you work hard enough. So, what happens to people like me who are deemed "abnormal?" People who have this label or people who have not been given the same advantages in life begin to feel a sense of isolation from their community. It starts with society members rejecting them as "outcasts." This rejection is linked to our neoliberalist views and the individualistic nature of our nation because people with the label "mental illness" are seen as adding no value to the community. Neoliberalism tells us that the underperforming population is not worthy by this ideology's standards. In short, people like me who are different cannot live up to these normative expectations. Our society recognizes mental illness as a shortfall, and it decreases that person's competitive edge in the community. These attitudes from others lead the person to internalize this socially constructed deficit as a personal failure instead of a problem stemming from our nation's structure. Mental illness has a biological component, but our society's consumeristic values produce a vicious cycle of being labeled unworthy due to the presumption that disadvantaged people cannot contribute based on these unrealistic standards. People with mental illness are told that their condition makes them less of a member of society, leading them to believe that they are the problem. The nation-wide mental illness crisis has arisen because of the blame put on individuals for shortcomings that stem not from them but from a neoliberalist society.

The neoliberalist ideology might have ingrained in you, my reader, the belief that people with mental illness are unfit to participate in our society. You may believe the solution is not to engage with these people, and you also see them as odd and possibly dangerous. One explanation for these ideas about the mentally ill was because of the formation of the biomedical model. This model pushes the blame onto the individual's genetic makeup and ignores all societal influences. The article "Is Neoliberalism Making Our Depression and Anxiety Crisis Worse?" written by George Hari explains how neoliberalism is turning societal distress into profit. He states, "So, neoliberalism makes us miserable by creating a society designed solely for buyers and sellers. Then it uses the pain caused by such a dystopian project as an excuse to tell us our brains are broken and that they're going to have to sell us even more things — drugs — to fix them" (Hari). What Hari is trying to get across is the morphed idea of the causes of mental illness. Our society is driven by large corporations, like Pharma. A way to make money by telling people they need or are missing something in their lives. So, one option is to tell the masses that their pain is their fault, and the way to fix it is to prescribe the sufferer medication. The doctors and researchers who preach the biological method are funded by Pharma, who develop the medication being prescribed (Hari). Neoliberalist ideas are pulsing through this idea of this "cause" of mental illness. Through advertisement and other forms of communication with our society, people are taught that mental illness stems from the individual; there is something different about them. Another issue that arises from a neoliberalist culture in regard to mental health is the immense stigma that arises from the rest of the community members. The ones that are doing well in society tend to view anyone who is falling behind, whether monetary or mentally, as burdens and blame them for their failures to be well integrated. So, neoliberalism facilitates the view of the biological model, which then gives society members a way to blame and get rid of responsibility for the other members of their community. Hari explains how we are social and have biological needs to feel a connection to others. Neoliberalism takes the solidarity of others away and turns the focus to the individual, pitting them against everyone. This ideology stops us from solving the mental health crisis because of the stigma, the internalization of failure to meet one's community's standards, and the belief it is every man for himself.

Now that we have examined the short-sided view of mental illness, we can now discuss the roots of the mental health crisis. The increasing rates of mental illness are strongly tied to our society's perception of people who cannot make it in this highly competitive system. America preaches freedom, and the allure of America was also that anyone could make it big if they worked hard enough. However, if we take a closer look at the structure of society, do we see that it is true? The article, "How Neoliberalism is Damaging Your Mental Health," written by Ruth Cain, gives a clear example of the layout of American society and how it is anything but a dream. She states, "...the enervating whirl of relentless privatization, spiraling inequality, withdrawal of basic state support and benefits, ever-increasing and pointless work demands, fake news, unemployment, and precarious work"(Cain). As Americans, we are told that anyone can be successful, but this is far from the truth. In Cain's explanation, we are run by work, and work runs us. The main goal in our culture is to acquire wealth and prestige. If you do to have it, it is your fault, and you are looked down upon. If we take a step back and look at American structure, we can see that the ones who "make it big" have had advantages most people do not have extended to them. Such as being able to afford to go to college or being white. America preaches equality but, we are far from it. The wealth gap is increasing, and the richer are getting richer, and the poorer are getting poorer. The top one percent of our society holds more than half the wealth of America. Due to our nation's competitive nature, we see everyone as an enemy, and if we do not benefit from someone's status or work, we disregard them entirely. The mental health crisis stems from the unequal and stigmatizing American society. Once people are labeled as unworthy citizens, they begin to internalize this idea that they failed in some way, leading them down a path of inner turmoil and mental anguish.

The rise in mental health issues is not new, and after looking at the deep-seated neoliberalist ideologies in our communities, it is of no shock that we cannot solve the problem. One driving force of the mental health crisis is the rise of technology and social media. This point is evident when we turn to the example in George Monbiot's article, “Neoliberalism Is Creating Loneliness. That's What's Wrenching Society Apart.” He explains how our dominant neoliberal ideology tells us to compete and look out for our self-interest. When addressing technology, he explains how social media is a platform that allows us to compete with our peers directly in terms of likes and follows. This competition is especially true for young girls. He gives the example of teenage girls altering their photos to be thinner and how our societal beliefs about needing to be the best coupled with social media create a war not only against others but against ourselves (Monbiot). To summarize, the issue of social media in a neoliberal culture is that if we are constantly told we need to compare ourselves to others while also given the illusion that we have an equal playing field, our mental health will deteriorate. I know from personal experience that the push to compare is dangerous. When I tried to drown myself, it was towards the end of high school, my senior year. My mental health was progressively getting worse throughout high school, and I had lost many friends because of it. I was trying so hard to fit in at this point in my life, but it was never good enough for those around me because they knew I was "off." My peers' rejection increased my self-criticism, and it started a cycle of getting worse and trying harder to be involved. If we take a step back and look at their perspective of me, I was not competition. I was, in their minds, not "on the same level," and therefore, they did not engage. This issue, however, is not their fault nor mine. We cannot blame those who do not know any other way of life; we need to turn our attention to what or who is teaching them. Therefore, the deeply embedded competitive individualism in the hearts of American's is what is stopping us from solving the mental health crisis. The neoliberalist ideology is only growing stronger as we are gaining more innovative ways to compare our successes to each other. The only way to solve this issue at hand is to redefine our values as a society. To see how our current ways are damaging to our well-being, we can turn to Hari's article. She points out,

All humans crave connection — to other people, to meaning, to the natural world. So we have begun to live in ways that don't work for us, and it is causing us deep pain. We live as deeply lonely individuals, primed to believe life is about acquiring the unnecessary products we see in advertising, left to scream at each other through screens to mask how distressed we feel (Hari)

Our "American Dream" leaves out what drives human beings: connection. We are blind to this missing piece because we have lived so long without it. We turn our frustration on to others or onto ourselves when we are unable to cope or succeed in this lonely, capital-driven world we have created. We retreat inward and begin to criticize ourselves when we need to be looking at the systems that have repeatedly been telling us we are not good enough. The only way to solve this issue at hand is to redefine our values as a society.  We need to move towards solidarity, compassion, and instating our democratic policies; equality, individual rights, and a government protecting the common good.

Now that we have examined the mental health crisis on a deeper level, we can now discuss the possible solutions. I mentioned that we need to instate the democratic policies. You may be asking, isn’t that what our nation is based upon? The short answer is no. This idea is addressed in Cain's article, which addresses how neoliberalism is damaging our mental health. She explains

Access to psychiatric diagnosis and support from public health services...sometimes depends on completion of a mood or symptom diary using smartphone or Fitbit self-tracking techniques. And there may well be more punitive future consequences for failure to self-track, as employers and perhaps benefit agencies gain more power to command this sort of performance from workers (Cain)

Digging further into Cain's analysis, we need to consider that most people do not have access to insurance. This is why companies have the power to make people log their symptoms in order to receive care. The reason for this example is to show the corruption of our government. If we had a government that took care of the common good of the people, there would be no struggle to get medical care. When it came to my psychotic break, my family supported me financially and got me the care I needed; but that occurrence is rare, and most people have on the state. Cain also talks about how most people with mental health issues end up in jail and that the prison system is one of the leaders in mental health care. If our society was not formed around a class system and the dominant ideology shifted to solidarity, our nation would be in better shape. I know this because of my experience. Removing the financial barriers to receiving mental health care would drastically reduce the homeless population, spending on psychiatric wards. However, we need a drastic shift in societal views in order for this to happen. We have learned that humans need a social connection to thrive and ultimately be happy. However, in our society today, neoliberalism is driving a wedge between us as community members, pitting us against one other and condoning competitive behaviors to the point where it is acceptable to alter ourselves to get ahead. People are so obsessed with success, money, and being perfect that when we cannot reach these unattainable goals, our mental state shifts, and we begin to look inward for the problem when we should be looking to the structure of society. Therefore, a focus on equality and solidarity in our community is needed to address the climbing numbers of mental illnesses.

So, you may be wondering, "why should I care?" This is a loaded question, but the answer can be seen in my journey towards stability. After I came home from my residential care, I had a psychotic break. I hid it from my family, fearing rejection and lack of understanding. When I dropped out of community college, that is when it came on full force. I would drive around on the two-lane road not far from my house with a noose and a bottle of sleeping pills in my trunk. I would spend hours driving that road trying to pick out the sturdiest tree. I started to believe I could talk to angels and that they were trying to guide me away from the monsters that I began to see in my mind. I thought that someone hijacked my inner voice, and I heard her planning my death. I would hear murmurs in my head, I wouldn't sleep for days, and I once spent an hour looking at the ground because I believed if I looked up, I would see a demon. I am telling you this because this is the reality for many people, but unlike me, they never get the help they need and spend their entire life locked into this hellish existence. I was able to get the help I needed. By chance, I was born into a family that could financially and emotionally have supported me through the darkest times. This support led to my stability of over three years. I have had had no hallucinations, no delusions. After two years, I re-enrolled in community college and was accepted into Columbia University and then transferred to UCSD due to COVID-19. I have made a full recovery and have reintegrated into society; however, I could not have done it alone. You should care about the mental health crisis and establishing a community centered around solidarity and compassion because we would have more success stories like myself. I am lucky. I was born into a family that loves me and has been there for me in every way possible. Imagine if everyone had the same opportunities as I have. If this were the case, there would be a dramatic drop in mental illnesses. One of the main reasons I made it out was that my family held my hand the whole way. They made sure I knew I was not alone. Neoliberalism is taking away our natural defense, connection. Yes, I believe there is a biological component to my disorder. Still, I know for a fact that the structure and ideologies of our society contributed enormously to the severity of it. We should care about the rise in mental illnesses because many people cannot get out of it once they are in. The struggle of mental illness is real, but it does not have to be lifelong. We can fight this as a community and the brothers and sisters that we are. Together we can stop the surge and help people get back on their feet. The moral of the story is if all people had equal opportunities if all people had the love that I have, more of us could conquer our demons and maybe eliminate them entirely. 

Works Cited

Cain, Ruth. “How Neoliberalism Is Damaging Your Mental Health.” Countercurrents Critical Law at Kent, 30 Jan. 2018.

Hari, Johann. “Is Neoliberalism Making Our Depression and Anxiety Crisis Worse?” In These Times, 21 Feb. 2018. 

Hoffman, Jan. “Young Adults Report Rising Levels of Anxiety and Depression in Pandemic.” The New York Times, 13 Aug. 2020. 

Monbiot, George. “Neoliberalism Is Creating Loneliness. That's What's Wrenching Society Apart.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 12 Oct. 2016.